"Motherfucker" by Aimee Bender

     "Motherfucker" by Aimee Bender is about a man who's soul desire is to seduce and have sex with mothers.  Once the seduction and the sex actually happens he never sees them again.  I guess it is the thrill of pursuit that gives this man such a rush.  When I question why he goes after only mothers my best guess is that they represent love, responsibility, and they know what it is like to love unconditionally.  Mothers have a lot more issues than women without children, when mothers meet a man they have to think "Is this man good for me, and more importantly, will he be good for my kids?"  This might make the seduction just a little bit more difficult, having to basically earn the trust of someone who can't just trust every man she meets.  It seems a little cruel to me that he seems so genuine and trustworthy just for sex, for that feeling of desire that he gets when he has sex with a person for the first time.  He teaches an actress mother about containing her desire and condensing it so it becomes stronger and stronger.  Of course once he has sex with her he disappears but he taught her a lesson about owning your desire and this leads to her becoming even a greater actress.

Michael Savage

"Ironhead" Aimee Bender

    "Ironhead" if taken literally is an unbelievable tale of  a man and woman who are cursed with the heads of pumpkins that gave birth to a boy with a head made of an iron.  I actually like to look at the story as a little boy who was born with a serious birth defect.  Not only was this boy totally different from the other kids at his school, his life was mad even more difficult because as kids often do they picked on him for being different.  This story is a sad story that happens in every school in America, if you are different you get picked on.  Sadly this little boy with the head of an iron dies, he really shouldn't have lived much past birth.  I feel old enough to know that being mean to people with disabilities is wrong.  This story would probably benefit children in elementary school to teach them a bit of a morale lesson.

Michael Savage

"Sex Scenes from a Chain Bookstore" Aryn Kyle

     My opinion about Eric Moe is that he is a terrible husband.  His poor wife has a bad body because of the fact that she was a figure skater.  Her skating made it very hard for her to have or enjoy sex.  Instead of standing by his wife and putting his own sexual gratification second he decides to have an affair.  Instead of going to a bar and meeting a stranger to have sex with he makes a stupid decision to have sex with his subordinate Jillian.  She is connected to his family because she gives Eric's daughter flute lessons once a week.  At first (as it usually goes) Jillian and Eric commit to the fact that it is "just sex" with no strings attached.  That little agreement is the starting point for most extra-marital affairs.  Even though I have never done this I know enough people who have and after two people have sex long enough feelings eventually start to creep in and cause big problems.  Eric is strictly thinking with the wrong head because he tells Jillian after each sexual encounter that "this will be the last time," but of course it never is.  Now to the other issue in the story, Aryn Kyle captures what it means to work retail and what it takes to deal with unruly jerks who come in as costumers.  Jillian ends up in a verbal confrontation with an asshole and he actually gets physical when he reaches over the counter and chokes her.  Eric being a man jumps in and beats the hell out of the choker.  I totally think Eric did the right thing and deserves no punishment.  Once a man starts hurting a woman it gives every other man there a "free pass" to beat the hell out of him.

Michael Savage 

Signifying Nothing

     First off I believe that the memory you have about your Dad is true.  If you were 3 or 4 years old I may question it's validity but since you were 9 and the actual description of the scene (and the penis) is so vivid I have to believe it happened.  Since your Dad did something so perverted and bizarre I wonder if there were more instances of abuse that you might have blocked from your memory.  There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior and he actually committed a crime.  I respect the fact that you called your Dad out about it.  The reaction he had was also quite bizarre.  You decided to cut your Dad and by default your Mom out of your life for a year.  My only advice is that you should have told your Mother about the memory so she wasn't left to question why you left.  I hardly believe that your Dad will tell her, therefore furthering the fact that he did it and is embarrassed about it.

Michael Savage

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

B.I. #11 06-96

Dumbass,
      If you want to break up with a girl just be a man about it.  Don't be such a moron and try to turn all the blame on her.  In your interview it appears that you have no backbone.  Your excuse for breaking up is that she always worries about you breaking up with her when you get moody or withdrawn.  Considering the fact that you have broken up with her before when you get withdrawn, makes me believe she had a valid concern.  Why are you trying to be the victim here?  Why can't you just be frank with this girl and not try to run her over and make her feel guilty?  Your statement "Maybe if I loved you a little less or cared about you less I could take it.  But I can't.  So yes, that's what the bags are, I'm leaving."  Are you a fucking idiot?  Do these words that came out of your mouth actually make sense to you?  I love you too much, therefore I'm breaking up with you.  Are you 11 years old?  Were your parents first cousins?  Be a man and place all the blame on yourself (even if it is not all your fault) and leave this girl with a little bit of confidence.  You also said "And don't think this is about something wrong with you."  That statement contradicts everything else you said.  You clearly are trying to confuse this young lady by making her think there is something wrong with her.  If you care about her at all tell her you're an idiot and gracefully leave her the hell alone.

Michael Savage

"Captain's Club" Aryn Kyle

    In "Captain's Club" I believe the author wanted us to feel Tommy's quick maturation caused by a far away trip to the Mediterranean with a boy from his class.  Tommy was forced to grow up and rely on himself during this trip because the boy he went with was not a good friend and they spent much of the vacation separated.  It was also Tommy's first extended absence from his mother, causing homesickness.  As the vacation went along Tommy spent more and more time with Tree an attractive adult woman.  Tommy had such great times with Tree that his emotions got confusing and he ended up misinterpreting Tree's motives towards him and he told her he loved her.
     The character I relate to is Tommy.  I was invited to a lot of trips with my friends out of state when I was a young teenager.  My family was poor so my mother allowed me to go on all these trips so I could experience the country and broaden my horizon.

"Me and Miss Mandible" Donald Barthalme

     Miss Mandible stands out in my mind because I experienced some hardships in my life at ten years old.  I know that a large part of my being remained 10 years old as I grew older.  The main character is in a fantastical place where he was allowed to return to the sixth grade with the mind of a 35 year old.  My memories of sixth grade center around liking girls for the first time, I had no idea what sex was but I knew that some of the girls in my school were attractive.
     The main character is in his thirties and has served in the Army.  I am the same in those respects.  99% of the Army was a big fat waste of my time and talents.  The quote about the Army being a waste of time and the fact that it took him a long time to figure out what a waste it was is totally accurate.  After basic training I realized I had signed up to waste 5 years of my life, and I hated myself for that.
    Miss Mandible is a difficult read because his actual circumstances in class aren't told.  I believe he was in a class of adults but the sexual tension and the long time it had been since he sat in a classroom made him think of sixth grade.